Not Enough Bonding Time

Sweet Al asked me what I was going to teach this morning in the Bible Study. I said, Acts 9 and Paul’s call. Everyone has a purpose and a call. I wonder if people know their call.

Al said immediately, “You’re call is to paint. You need to be painting. You’re spending way too much time on the computer.”

I whipped back, “I’m editing a second book, I’m writing articles for the newspaper, I am posting daily to my website, I do social media marketing, I teach an Online Home Study Art Workshops, and it’s all on the computer.”

“Well, you need to stay away from the computer. It has consumed you.”

I left on that note for the Bible Study. I began teaching and asked the ladies a question. “Should a person know their purpose and do they have a certain call?”

I thought it was clever to relate my one-hour-before-conversation I had with Al as an illustration.

I asked the question, “Does God change your call?” I had my answer ready. I was about to tell them what I thought, when they began taking Al’s side.

I surely didn’t see this one coming.

One of the women said, “Al has told you many times you are on the computer too much. Maybe he is telling you he needs to be more a part of your life.”

“Oh, it’s just a little bump in the road. I plan to take time away from the computer this summer. We will be camping and doing other things together.”

Another lady spoke up, “You’re way too independent. You need to act more helpless. Men love helpless women.”

“Helpless? Please! I don’t want to act helpless. I don’t even like women who are helpless.“

“You need to encourage Al and let him know you need him.”

“Well, as a matter fact I did this morning. I asked him to clean the bathrooms while I was here with you.”

They all laughed. “You ARE kidding, of course?”

“No, I did.”

“You’re not kidding, are you?”

“No.”

“What I meant was, have him rub your neck and shoulders.”

“I guess I could do that.”

Another lady spoke up, “I stop every couple of hours and take my husband a glass of ice tea, or sit down and ask him how he’s doing. It doesn’t take that much to make them feel needed and wanted.”

“When I’m on the computer, I’ll call down the stairs and ask if he’s okay, does that count?”

Another lady said, “When my husband wants to talk, I turn down the television, or close my book, I take off my glasses, I sit quietly and listen how he put the lawn mower together or fixed the fence.”

More advice was given, “At the end of your life, no one has any regret to what they left in the IN Basket, but they do regret the time they didn’t spend with the people they cared about the most.”

“To be fair to me,” I said, “I’ve really cut back from the first book I wrote. If I get up at 4 or 5 in the morning, the minute I hear Al at 7, I walk down stairs, pour us coffee and sit and talk with him. I thought I had really improved.”

“Apparently not, if Al still thinks you are spending too much time on the computer, he is still feeling left out.”

I did tell Al when I left I was going out to lunch with the women and would be home at 3. After the long enlightening and exhorting afternoon with my lady friends, I looked at the clock, and it was 5pm. Al will not believe I spent the whole day trying to be a better wife.

When I got home, Al said, “You said you’d be home at 3.” I said, “But honey, I have learned how to be a better wife and make you feel needed.”

“Really?”

Final Brushstroke! Here I am again, it’s 5am and I’m on the computer. I’ve already had my coffee, I need to pour my Sweet Al a cup of coffee and do some bonding. I haven’t got the hang of feeling helpless, yet. 

A Little Too Much Happy Hour For Me!

 David, Al’s brother called, “Where’s Al?”

“Al and Angel went to Happy Hour.”

“Happy Hour?”

“You know how it is? They think they need a grape slushie every day, so they drive through and get a Happy Hour drink for a dollar. The slushie machine has been broken, and you would think someone cut their throats.  When they give their order, the young man at the window knows who they are by their voice. Angel and Al think that’s really special that he knows their name.

I tell them, “Its just good business. That business makes $2.00 a day off of you.” Anyway, they live for those grape slushies.

“Grape slushie? That’s not what I call Happy Hour.”

“Yes, I know. Your Happy Hour costs you a lot more than a dollar a day. You’ve spent a fortune on women you don’t even know their names and they probably forget yours. Thank God, my Sweet Al doesn’t have your bent. At least the young man at the drive-through window knows Al’s name. ”

David asked, “What else is going on in Pagosa?”

“I just finished a book with all The Artist’s Lane articles in it from 2008 to 2012. It is available now on Lulu.Com”

“Loser.Com?”

“That seems fitting, but no, Lulu.Com. You’re in it. There’s a section just on you. You need to buy a book and make me happy!”

“Oh my God!”

“It’s going to be a coffee table book and a bathroom size book. You can read about all your girlfriends when you’re too old to do anything else.”

“That will never happen. I met a girl last night. I’ve been out of town and working hard. I needed to get out. So, I cleaned up and went out to a couple of nightspots. I met two girls in their thirties. They were both as cute as they could be, but there was one I was really attracted to. I bought them both a glass of wine. The one I was interested in looked like she wanted to be kissed.”

“And, what does THAT look like?”

“I don’t know. It’s a look, you just feel it, it says kiss me. So I just reached over and kissed her. She kissed me back. I got her phone number. When she left she kissed me three more times.”

“Well, I guess I can be happy, My Sweet Al comes home with purple lips instead of kisses on them from some strange woman.”

“Al couldn’t handle this kind of Happy Hour. My problem is wondering what’s next.”

“Do you mean, the next girl or the next job?”

“Both.” David laughed.

“Thank God for little favors. I guess you know this conversation will be in the next book? I’m calling it ‘Too much Happy Hour.’ I’ve already started a new book for 2013 and I’ve already written two articles about you.”

Final Brushstroke! I’m home typing while Al is enjoying a grape slushie and Happy Hour. I guess a grape Slushie is harmless after talking to Al’s brother, David. Happy Hour for me is seeing my next article in the newspaper. I guess it’s whatever makes you happy!

Artist’s Quote: "Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that."  - Norman Vincent Peale

Because She Cares!

First of all, the clock is working on the Court House Wall. Wahoo!!!

I received an e-mail from a lady who cares. She told me I should go check out the clock at the courthouse and talk to someone about fixing it. I thought to myself and laughed, that’s her mode of operation, not mine. I just write about it. In my earlier days, I might have had My Sweet Al up on a ladder leaning against the wall, fixing the clock. I would have gotten him in a world of trouble, but not today.

This is a lady who has been a friend of mine for over twenty-three years. Two years ago, the City of Clovis, New Mexico, appointed her as one of the people who made a difference in their town. The City asked me to come and speak on her behalf. I did.

I spent a long time preparing my speech. I asked the audience this question, “Who is Betty Lucero? She is no nonsense, all black and white. There is no one who she wouldn’t help.” I wanted to be as authentic as she is. She is the real deal.

The other speakers had long pages of bragging rights for their candidates, with all their degrees, credentials, and diplomas. They were on the Who’s Who list in the City of Clovis. They were doctors and mayors. My friend had no degrees, held no office, no position, and was an eighth grade dropout.

It was unheard of a woman, especially a Spanish woman to be in business in the 1950’s. She owned five businesses during that time. At the end of my speech, I asked everyone to stand who had been personally touched by this woman. Four hundred people stood to testify that she had made a difference in their lives.

Over the years, when I have visited her, she would say, “So and so is struggling in business, we need to go buy something from them. Or, let’s eat there, and help them out.” She came by my gallery in the ‘90’s in Albuquerque, and started moving my art around. I had never met her before that day. She said it would sell if I displayed it a different way. She was right. My dearest friend is still a little bossy, but don’t be fooled, this woman cares.

She wrote this note about her own mother who passed away at 94 years old. Her mother was a tough woman, and I have seen the same determination and heart in my friend, Betty Lucero.

“Slade, Oh how I can relate to your article. Remind me to laugh when I can’t. I once knew a “Pillar”. A lady who got up early to do lots of everything, which she felt needed to be done. When she got up in the morning, the rest of the world was suppose to be up as well. Oh, but then came the day when she could no longer get up and do all those things which were so important to her.

I need to tell you, all those things continued to be important to her. However, she no longer could muster the strength to get up. Oh, she tried, because “she still cared.”

So, let me make a suggestion here. Have you considered stopping in to ask why the clock stopped working? I am now 75 years (young), at least that is in my mind. When I need help to do simple things, which I used to be able to do by my self, someone will ask, “Can I help?” The tendency is to say, “NO, I CAN DO IT MYSELF.” There will be a day when I’ll have to say, “Yes, thank you for helping me!”

When that happens, that day I will think of the Pillar I once knew. It was My Mother, who left us 4 years ago this February. But guess what? She never left, because her Pillar Spirit will live on forever in anyone who knew her.  Why? Simply, because she cared!

Stop in next time you go around that bend. Why? Simply because you’re the one who cares!

Until next time, I enjoy all the articles from all the writers. Thank you Pagosa Springs SUN for allowing them to express how they CARE.”

A Friend who cares in New Mexico

Betty Lucero

Final Brushstroke! I’m glad the clock is working. My friend would continue to remind me that I needed to do something about it, because I noticed it and she cares.