An Ugly Sweater Christmas

It was the year for ugly sweaters. I’m sure you’ve gone to at least one ugly sweater party in 2013. For us, we’ve done the party and it’s time to take them to the thrift store.

The children have all gone home and its quiet once again on the Lower Blanco. It’s funny about family. We raised them the same, but they operate at different speeds and different volumes of loud and quiet. We have night people and morning people. We have goers and stayers at home, but we are family.

I was putting the Christmas decorations away and thought about how much we enjoyed our children. We laughed all the time, mostly at ourselves. I’m not sure how we do it! Twelve family members, and four dogs spend two weeks together. And, we still love each other and want to spend time together whenever we can.

I saw this post on my son’s Facebook. He wrote, “I love that my family can be so candid…and then laugh. My mom ask why we came home (for the holidays), Cricket said that she came to serve, (Isn’t that beautiful? I feel a tear in my eye.) Angel said she came home out of obligation. (She really came home to Daddy.) My mom looked at me and said, ‘I suppose you just came home to be waited on.’ Allison, stay at your house, none of us can top Cricket.”

Families come home, apparently for different reasons. The most important thing is they come home. This is how our family manages to still love each other.

1. Let everyone be who they are. It’s not always easy. Our son came from the Philippines. He had jetlag, a cold and came off a big high and a big production. He was freezing in the 20 below weather the whole time. We have learned to put on another layer, he hasn’t.

He slept the first five days and spent two days texting and on Facebook. He never leaves his work thanks to mass media. While the family was opening presents, he was sleeping. When we were eating Christmas dinner, he was watching TV.

He is a foot taller than all of us and he scans the horizon over our heads as if looking for an eagle when he talks to us. No eye contact. I felt like I was with Robert Redford waiting for an autograph.

He brought home a recent magazine from the Philippines, about how the rich and famous live. He was in it. They interviewed him as someone doing good for the people in the Philippines whose roots are in the country soil of Pagosa Springs, Colorado. His article was about coming home for the holidays and missing us. Wow! That’s news to me.

We do not pamper him, or walk on eggshells around him. He doesn’t get any special attention. He gets a short rollaway bed sometimes and leftovers. Of course, if he would eat with the family, he’d get a fresh cooked meal. Believe it or not, he needs us.

When we were getting ready for our annual family portraits, he was outraged. “How can you take family photos looking like that? These are family portraits, how could you wear those ugly sweaters?”

“Because we’re doing ugly sweaters this year. It’s not my idea, but your sister’s. Lighten up and enjoy the family. Be a part.” Need-less-to-say, we will photo shop him in again this year. I think he was afraid it would show up on Facebook. Well, it did. Ha.

Finally on the last two days of his visit, he became the enjoyable, funny and witty Stephen we all love. We had to forget the first seven days. He took pictures of photos on the wall of Al and I in our twenties. He posted them on Facebook, as “Yup, They were hotties. Mother is on a diet so she can be bikini ready for Manila.”

I told him, “If you don’t act better, I’m not going. That’s final.”

2. To get along, we look the other way. We had four dogs here. With all the mud and dogs, I only lost my cool once. That was when the dogs ran in and Daisy jumped on our bed with mud on her feet.

After Christmas, I took the leftover turkey and made a big roaster of turkey soup. I put it out on the porch to stay cold. Yes, of course the dogs got into it and ate it all. My son-in-law said, “I was looking forward to turkey soup.”

I said, “You’re not getting any turkey soup this year.” 

3. Laugh a lot. During the picture taking, Allison said to me, “Mother, look better. You’re not looking right.”

I said, “I’m looking the best way I know how.”

“Well, mother, we’ve got to do something with your hair.”

“I was wearing a Santa’s Hat, that’s why my hair is a mess.”

“Not the whole time.”

“When the camera is clicking, don’t talk.”

“I’ll try not to.”
“When you talk, you close your eyes. Look at all the photos, you have your eyes closed in every one of them.”

My comment to her was, “Go ahead and shoot me and take me out of my misery.”

4. Let everyone do what they want to do.  We had puzzles, chess games, and Hallmark movies all going at the same time. After the evening meal, Allison is famous to say, “What game do we ALL want to play? We have Apples to Apples, Farkle, Thirty-One or Spinners.”

I said, “I’d like to play Scrabble.”

“No, Mother. No one wants to play Scrabble. We all play together.”

Some of the family went shopping in Durango, others shopped in Pagosa and some of us stayed close to home.

Our oldest daughter and I made two videos, one of our ugly sweater picture day and a demo for an art project. She came to serve. I took advantage of her beautiful heart. My daughter taught me how to make and edit videos. The result was a family movie night with the ugly sweaters. I laughed until I cried. Of course, I added the subtitles, which I thought was really funny. (The family didn’t see the humor in them.) The delicious rum cake given to the family by Traci, of which I had two pieces, helped also. The family thought watching me watch the video was funnier.  I’m still laughing and the rum cake is all gone. (Traci, next year we need two rum cakes.)

5. Love them no matter what, even if they don’t want to play Scrabble with you. Then they will always come home.

Final Brushstroke! Remember the Five L’s

1. Let everyone be who they are.

2. Look the other way.

3. Laugh a lot.

4. Let everyone do what they want to do.

5. Love them no matter how they act or why they come home.

….Or you could do the No-elllllllls and book your next holiday in Hawaii! The tan would be nice but the laugh lines that you would miss are priceless.

Work with what you’ve got!

We’ve all been given our fair share of things, some we like, some we don’t like so well. It’s all about who we are and what we do with what we’ve been given.

Growing up the Wylie boys were the biggest, tallest and heaviest in their class. Over the years, Allison, their mother would say to me, “Thank God they’re boys and not girls.”

I’d respond, “Yes, it’d be a sad day if they were girls.” Then we would both laugh. “Your boys could be couch potatoes or sports players. It’s what’s in them that will determine how they handle their bigness.”

I’d tell her, “Their size came from their genes, they can’t help it. My dad was a big guy, very strong, but light as a feather on the dance floor. When he was a young man, he sat on the tailgate of the old farm truck and lifted bales of hay all day long with one arm and threw them into the truck bed. Even today, people talked about how strong he was back then.”

The boys would wrestle each other, jump off the back of the couch on to the other one. They played hockey and were tough in their elementary years. When they moved to Pagosa in their fourth and fifth grades, they were linemen on the football team. The first thing the coach did was put a yellow dot on their helmets. This meant they couldn’t touch the ball.

They were the big kids, who had to defend the small ones. I heard a mother once say to her 75-pound son as he walked out onto the football field, “Stay behind Slade. He’ll protect you.” The team needs those heavy boys.

College football coaches are all hoping Creede will be bigger and heavier by next year. He’s just the right size for wrestling heavy weights today. He’s clocking in at 257 pounds, with a 24-inch-shoulder span. He’s working out day and night getting ready for State Wrestling in Denver.

One of the college wrestling coaches marveled at Creede. He said, “I’ve never seen a heavy weight do backflips and cartwheels, but it’s easy for you.”

I told Creede, “You’ve been given an awesome gift. You! You have the mind to out think your opponent. You calculate his moves, and you know when he doesn’t have anything left. You are quick and agile. You’ve been given the strength and size of a very strong man. You have the endurance to go the full match and still have plenty left over. Most important, you’ve been given the want-to for discipline, exercise, determination, and you have the drive of a champion.”

“Some talented athletes lack the drive, discipline or the vision. They can go so far, but no further. Everything is working for you at the moment. The most important thing is how you handle this awesome opportunity and responsibility, which have been given to you?”

“You need to keep yourself humble, and know it is only God who has placed this in you. Don’t abuse this blessing you’ve been given. Give God the glory. This gift is not only for you it’s for others who need to watch and live their dreams through a champion.”

“One day you’ll be asked to give back to those coming up after you, like the people who have come along side to make you better for a greater purpose.”

“Your parents have supported you from the beginning. Mr. Dan Janosky, Coach J, has run a clean wrestling program and given you an opportunity to go all the way.

Michael Martinez, a graduate of 2004 from Pagosa came back this season to work with the wrestlers. He’s been there for you and given you higher aspirations, such as being a contender for Nationals and the Olympics. He believes in you and believes you can do it. He’s helped you change your mindset from a heavy weight to a lightweight. This is an enormous advantage. You can think out your opponent both ways. Most heavy weights can’t do that.

With no one your size in the program, Myron Stratton and Bubba Martinez, two Pagosa graduates back in the day, have come along side to challenge you and have given their time to work with you. They have given you different types of scenarios, which you might have to face. Joe DuCharme, from Pagosa High School is another legend to chase.

Then there is one of your best friends, Mike Kelly, your former football coach who has been with you all the way through the sports program. He has promised he would be there for your first game in college, he means it, and he’ll be there.

Many of the fans have taken time out of their busy schedule to be at your matches, watching and supporting you. They are praying for you, also. You are a blessed young man.

Vince Lombardi quoted, “There is something in good men that longs for discipline and the harsh reality of hand to hand combat.”

“Why Wrestle?”

This unknown author says it best:

“Wrestling prepares a person to fight the game of life.

The wrestler is the one athlete that must meet his opponent

And do battle completely on his own;

No one can substitute, no time outs are possible.

He has no one to check, screen, block, or assist him in any way:

There is no one to blame for his mistakes.

When he wins, he must show quiet pride and modesty.

When he loses, the responsibility is his.

Wrestling is a true sport.

In other sports, when contact is made, they blow the whistle to stop the action;

In wrestling, when contact is made, we’re just getting started.

No other sport requires more sacrifice than wrestling.

An individual, through self-denial, offers more of his character

Than can ever be explained.

Through every trial, test and tribulation.

Final Brushstroke! For me, I am coaching you from the stands. I tell you to turn them over, and pull them back into the circle. I’ve recorded the action in the circle but your ring is just too small. I’ve seen 500 pounds fly out the circle when you’ve jumped on your opponent. I have a video with no movement and your toes are just inside the ring. I missed videoing an important pin, but all to say, I’m your biggest fan.

I’m Looking Forward, My Sweet Al’s looking Backwards.

I explained to my Sweet Al, “We need to learn our neighbor’s phone number in case we ever have an emergency. We never know when we might have to call them. They’ve offered to help us.”

I said to Al this is how you can remember their phone number. It starts with 57. Remember, 1957 is the year you graduated. You won’t forget that, will you? Think of Heinz 57. In fact think of the 57 Chevy.

Al said to me, “The 57 Chevy was fast, but it was the 55 Chevy that they put in the first V-8 engine. We used to drag race on Eubank in Albuquerque. There were about 20 of us. We’d take our girlfriends out there.”

“The police didn’t bother us. Every once in a while we’d see one light coming, and we knew it was the police, they drove motorcycles. They’d say, “We know you’re out here, and we know you’re having fun, but be careful. You can stay on two conditions, no drinking and the flag man can not stand between the two cars.”

“Okay, Rebel Without a Cause, I’m trying to teach you how to remember the neighbor’s phone number.”

Al continued, “Mr. Miller, Ronnie’s father, had a red 57 Chevy, he’d come out there and beat us all. I had a 58 Plymouth and after I put on dual carburetors, I could beat him.”

“I need you to focus. Can you remember the neighbor’s phone number?”

“What is it?”

It starts with 264-57.

“I forgot. The Ford came out in 1932 with the first V8 flat head motor, and Chevy didn’t come out until 1955.”

Al ran to his stash of magazines, “Look here.” Al flipped the page of the Hot Rod Magazine to an article showing a 57 Chevy and an article about Drag Racing. “I remember when they shut down the drag strip in Albuquerque. It was about 1959.”

This is crazy, I’m trying to teach him how to remember a phone number and I get a long lesson on drag strips and racing. He remembers every boy in high school, what they drove, color of their car, what was under the hood, how fast they could go and who wore a red James Dean Jacket.

“Where’s my James Dean Jacket? Did you throw it away? You always throw away everything.”

“Your jacket is still in the upstairs closet. Do you realize I’ve kept it for you for 57 years?”

“Well, don’t throw it away.”

Apparently remembering those days is more important to Al than remembering a phone number. I’ll write it down on the Pagosa Fire Department Burn Certificate. He knows where that is.

I guess if he has an emergency and I’m not home, he can holler out the front door and hopefully the neighbors will hear him.

Final Brushstroke! I’m trying to be wise and remember our age. Al remembers Mr. Miller looking in his rearview mirror from a 1957 Chevy. I don’t believe it. My Rebel without a Cause is calling the wrecking yard to verify the date of the first V8 engine in the Ford. “Honey, I was right, it was a 32 Ford.” God, help us all!

Karl, How Could You Do This To Us?

I wondered what I would write about in my next article for January 2014. I didn’t have the slightest idea what the New Year would bring. I’m getting an inkling. CHANGE.

I had waxed poetic to a couple of my friends. I told them I found out what the word, daybreak meant in the Bible. It means the day breathes. I had to think about it for a while, and then I had a Holy Ghost Aha moment. I told them, “The day is alive, it breathes for us. All we have to do is live in the breathe of the day, live in the rhythm of God’s heartbeat and we will experience life. We can’t experience God in yesterday or tomorrow, we only live in today’s breath.”

It all sounded good. I told them it was easy to do. Then a phone call and a newspaper reading in the same day quickly challenged my poetic bent. I realized I didn’t like the way the day was breathing for me.

I think it’s easier to handle things when it’s the familiar and it’s the same old, same old. The phone call said things had changed. Corporate had hired a new manager, and she was making changes. She would be replacing my art classes for a few months. My supervisor assured me she would fight for me. She understands the guests, and how many come to Pagosa, year after year because they offer art lessons and how they accommodate their guests.

Then, I picked up the newspaper and lo and behold, I saw Karl Isberg thrown over his desk with RIP. It scared me to death. I couldn’t believe my eyes. How could you do this to us, Karl? You can’t stop and retire? Not now, we’re expecting things to be the same. I know it’s been 26 years sitting at the same desk in the same office at the same SUN news. I noticed in the picture, your hand next to your coffee cup, you hadn’t finished your coffee, yet. You can’t go.

You’ve been my friend for 6 years. You took a chance on me when I was a novice writer. You told me your biggest concern about a new column was my sustainability. I told you, not to worry. I knew I had plenty of material to write about. I’m an artist and I live with Sweet Al and a dog named Whiskey on the Lower Blanco in Pagosa. There’s plenty to write about.

You’ve covered my backside many times. Before I knew how to write, I was writing. I don’t know why I didn’t think I might embarrass myself, with my limited formal education and lack of discretion. You understood, and you corrected many typos and awkward sentences. You made me look better than I am. I’d said, “The title is feeble, change it if you want to.” You did and made them better.

I was so excited about writing that I’d send several articles ahead of schedule. It’s been a game with me. The romance in writing these crazy articles is still alive in me, and I’m hitting 256 articles for the Artist’s Lane. I’m not ready to quit, I’ve just got started.

Then, I was driven to have a faith column in the newspaper. I asked you if I could. You said, “Only if you can get faith writers, then we’ll see. I don’t want the same writer every week.” I did, and you did and we’ve been going strong for 194 weeks. You allowed us to write our faith about Jesus. You didn’t change the message. We wrote strong words at times. You took it to print as we wrote them. This is rare for a newspaper. I wrote to the faith writers and told them, “You need to write while we have the freedom to write our faith. You never know what might happen.” Few took advantage of your generosity. Now what?

There were times I asked a favor of you. “Could you slide this event or announcement in for this week’s newspaper, I know it’s 4 o’clock on a Monday and the cut off is 12 noon?”

Our grandsons and all the others in Pagosa sports couldn’t wait for Thursdays. They wanted to see how they did in their stats for the week and what was said about them in the newspaper. You covered every game and reported on them, even sent our daughter, Allison Wylie, to take pictures at the State Wrestling and other sports events.

Karl, how could you do this to us? You know it’s all about us. It’s not about you and if you’re a little tired of working or other reasons, which we don’t know.

I thought your sustainability would far surpass me. I asked you once, “I’ve written a hundred articles so far, how many have you written?” You chuckled and said, “Thousands. I quit counting a long time ago.”

When I read about your retirement, I said to my Sweet Al, “Maybe I won’t have a job writing after the first of the year. Karl’s the one who believed in me. Maybe, our faith articles will be censored. I have always been thankful to him for printing them as they were.”

What else will happen in 2014? I know the day breathes for us, because God said it. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making it possible for our family to do what we do.

I pray for you that you will have many days breathing for you. You are a dear friend, I want to say thank you from me and my family.

Final Brushstroke! Take advantage of the day. Make it count for you. The only way we experience the breathe in the day, is in this day.