Confessions of a Garage Sale Goer!

Is there a Garage Sale Go-ers Anonymous group in town? If there is, My Sweet Al and I need to attend.  If there isn’t one, there should be, this whole town is full of Garage Sale Junkies. I would tell the whole world I’m not one of them, but I think it is time to come out of the closet and confess I also have a problem.

I don’t want to have garage sales, don’t want to go to them, and I don’t want any more junk. But somehow I‘m always sorting through junk, which we have accumulated in weak moments. This stuff comes to the door. People know we can’t say no, so they bring their treasures to us.

I’m finding when we have garage sales, the serious garage sale people come before we open, even though we specify, 8am, no early birds. They come at 7:00 and stand there with things in their hands waiting for us to tell them what it’s worth.

Instead of saying, I’m not open yet, I’ll say, “Oh, just give me a couple of dollars.” That’s how a lady got a good pair of antique snow skis. Al is still mad at me for selling those for two dollars.

Then there was the antique toboggan that Al had in the family for years. It was probably worth some money. Another lady came early, caught me off guard and I sold it to her for a few dollars. I think they know what they’re doing, and I don’t.

When I told my friend, she says that’s what serious garage sale people do. My friend knows, because she has a friend who does that and she actually makes a living by being the first one there to get the good deals. She takes these treasures and puts them on E-Bay.

Another friend, when she is having a garage sale, she makes it a party. Her husband fires up the barbeque grill and serves hot dogs. I can’t imagine cooking for people in the midst of all that junk. She does and she always makes $500.00 or more and she doesn’t have that much to sell.  She uses it as a time to get to know the neighbors, and she’s making money and new friends.

So when do you hold or fold? I don’t have garage sale smarts. Garage-sale-smart people live at garage sales. They hang around garage sale people.  They know the lingo, they know a good price, and they know how to do it.

I think I need to join the GSG’s Anonymous. “Hi, I’m Betty.” I’m married to a Garage Sale Junkie. He won’t stop collecting junk. He promises me he will stop but he won’t do it. He sneaks it in and hides it under the couch pillow or on the top shelf of the closet. It’s tearing us apart.

I confess I have my own junk addiction, as well. Our addictions feed off of each other. He brings home a blue bottle, and I can see it on our mantel with flowers. I can’t say no to him or the bottle. He brings home a table. I see one of my paintings on it. The light goes off in me. I grab it up. I say, “It’s mine.” It’s that hallelujah moment when the heavens break open and the light shines around it. We are both junkies.

The new me — I will say no to all garage sales, shopping at them or having them. But when the junk mounts up, I give in. Al gets energized with garage sale day. I want to crawl into a hole.

Back to my recent episode with our garage sale, which prompted this article in the first place. I have to confess. I put an ad in the Classified Ads, planned, worked like a dog, got it ready and then came the rain. I went to the football game the night before the garage sale, and heard there would be 60% chance of rain for Saturday.

I had reserved the church in case of rain. I didn’t want all that mud tracked into the church. I couldn’t decide the best thing to do, follow through or shut it down. Apparently, there is protocol in calling off a garage sale. I didn’t do it right.

On Friday night, my friend came up to me and said she had invited 9 friends, and she had things to donate to the church, thinking it was a church event. I told her I called it off.

I was reprimanded. “You called it off. I drove by the church.  I didn’t see a sign that said “Garage Sale Cancelled.”  You should’ve put up a sign.”

“I thought when people saw the rain they would know it wasn’t going to happen.”

“You need to call Tradeo and have them announce it.”

I didn’t think it was necessary. I went home that night and started to pray for more rain. As if we hadn’t had enough rain all ready, I had to prove that I was justified that I had a good reason for calling off the garage sale.

I don’t quit when I commit to something. Surely the whole world knows that and wouldn’t see me flippant toward serious garage sale shoppers. I woke up the next morning. Gray skies!  I ran to the computer Giddy and e-mailed Tradeo. I e-mailed all our church members since I announced it the week before. I told Al he had to go to town and put a sign that said, “Garage Sale Cancelled due to Rain.” Because I was told to do it so no one would be disappointed.

He said, “Betty, they will know it’s cancelled. People know it’s going to rain.” By 6:30am it poured down, I was relieved. For you serious garage sale people, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to meet you in the rain. I had heard a few people came by. They must know about all the good treasures we want to set free.

I have boxed all our garage sale stuff up which takes up the whole barn. Some of our vehicles are going to be out in the rain and snow so that I might make $100 in the Spring. I’m going to do it come rain or shine. Again, if you see my sweet Al wandering by your yard sale, tell him he already has 3 of those at home. Pretty Please.

Final Brushstroke! Deliver me. My Sweet Al and I live among junk. Let me know when the next meeting is for the GSG’s Anonymous, we’ll be there.