Tractor Talk – Digging The Hole Deeper

Have you noticed when you are thinking of buying something, you see them on every corner. Everywhere I look I see orange Kubotas. Did I not get the memo? Did the government promise an orange Kubota in every yard?

My daughter asked me what we were doing. I said, “We are closing this week on the studio and your Dad is driving me crazy over this tractor.”

“How’s that?”

I told him, “You can’t have the tractor until the money is in the bank. On the north side going through Gem City there’re three blocks of orange. They’re not going to sell all those tractors before you get yours.  I assure you the salesman won’t rest until you have your tractor sitting in your front yard.”

I promised Al years ago when we sold the art studio I’d buy him a Kubota. Call it his bucket list—Have to have one —Can’t live without it—I’ve worked hard, I deserve it—. Call it whatever, but My Sweet Al is determined his life will never be complete without his very own orange dirt mover.

His old 1950 Ford Golden Jubilee Tractor has passed its golden years. It was a beauty at one time. He drove it every day and it did the work of ten men. He lived on it. Now he’s living under it most of the time. Lately, he’s done more work on it than it has done for him.

I have to own up, My Sweet Al painted it a few years back with some left over paint, and since then I have to admit I fell in love with the thunderbird teal. Some days I just look out the window and envision beautiful potted plants arranged on it and green leaves cascading out of the bucket. It would make a beautiful piece of yard art?  It wont be long  since his old teal tractor has no breaks. The last time I saw Al coming down the hill in it, I said to him, “Al, you don’t have breaks on that tractor, why are you going down that hill?”

“I’m clearing the road. Don’t worry. I just put down the bucket to stop.”

I just roll my eyes and send up a prayer  “You’re going to kill yourself one day.”

And he replies, “A new Kubota would solve all our problems!”

Last year he spent $300.00 on chains to clear the snow, then the tractor wouldn’t run. Apparently now it needs a little screw, which he can’t find anywhere. He’s called everyone that deals with Ford tractors and he has bothered everyone about it. I don’t think they are taking his calls anymore. Sigh!

The art studio has sold and he’s holding my feet to the fire. He hasn’t forgotten my promise. Now he’s called every tractor company in a five hundred mile radius, and has driven them up the wall asking questions about which one to get.  Apparently, there’re a thousand ways to go. There are big tractors, middle size and small ones. He can add a backhoe on the back, a snowplow on the front, a bucket that clamps, and a blade that pushes dirt. Every bell and whistle cost more money.

He’s asked all his friends and neighbors what they think he should do. Our son-in-law said, “This sounds bad for me to say, but I’ll probably get the tractor when Dad leaves for the big tractor farm in the sky, at least get hydraulics on the front because I need a snowplow.”

Al said to him, “I don’t need a snowplow, I have my Scout to clear the snow.”

I said to My Sweet Al, “Why are you buying a tractor then?”

“To dig holes! “Just call John, he’s got a backhoe. He’ll come out and dig a hole for you and you can save $30,000.00. In fact, John could live here with his back hoe with room and board permanently” for that price.

Al pouted, “I just wanted a Kubota.”

“My hole is getting deeper.”

Our daughter said, “Why don’t we go in half, we need a tractor, too.”

I said to her, “No. Your dad needs his own tractor. You can borrow it any time, but your dad could dig a hole and fall into it, and then we would owe you for half of a tractor. It just won’t work.”

I told the buyer of my art studio, “Al is so antsy to get a Kubota. Until our closing date and the money is in the bank, I told him he has to wait.”

Apparently I stepped in it, and Al is mad at me. He said, “That sounds terrible to tell the new buyer that I can’t wait for him to buy it so I can run out and spend his money and get a new tractor.”

The buyer is now our new best friend. He called to ask if Al has decided on the tractor yet. I told Al, “You’re the one who talked to the whole Lower Blanco about the tractor, not me. He found out through you. You’ve consulted the whole Lower Blanco.

This week after all the dirt has settled my daughter came by and said, “I have been thinking about things, does Daddy really need a tractor? You just sold all your property where is he going to park it? Well, I’m sure it will be a good family conversation for next Sunday’s dinner….. I don’t know, all I wanted was a good hearing aid. Any ideas?

Final Brushstroke! Well, the Big Orange is here. I won’t see my Sweet Al until dark. Him and the gophers are digging holes all over the place. It will keep him on the property, and it will give me time to write about it. All is well.