Memories - Different and Precious

Time changes, things change, and memories change, also.

We enjoyed our family for Thanksgiving, but a week early and on a Saturday. We’ve always had Thanksgivings on Thanksgiving, but not this year. What’s with that? We would be on the road to a playoff game for CSU Pueblo during the Thanksgiving weekend.

The day was different but the smells of Thanksgiving got the mood set. Sitting around the turkey and dressing a week early, the house was filled with an unusual mix this year. The grandsons came home, brought a friend, and our son-in-law made sure that the neighbors and his niece from California who drove all night had an invite.

One grandson invited another good friend, with his new family. It was fun to have a baby in the house. It wasn't the traditional group but even better and the tradition of family/food and fellowship was still in our hearts.

After the meal, a conversation was prompted by an e-mail I received from a young man who grew up in Pagosa with our children. He had found an article, which appeared in the SUN Newspaper in November, 1978. It read, “YOUNG PEOPLE, Don’t forget this Friday is the Ice Skating Party at the Al Slades, beginning at 6:30 p.m. Tis’ an ‘Old Fashion Party.’ Girls and ladies wear your long dresses and men and boys wear your knickers. There’ll be music down by the pond played on an old Victrola. He signed the E-mail, “Good times and wonderful memories of you both? God bless, Jace.”

There were fifty kids who came that night and some of those kids are still here in Pagosa. Along the way, a few of them have reached back and told us how they enjoyed that night. My Sweet Al and I were making memories for these kids and we didn’t even know it.

I made the comment to the family that I was touched that he took the time to send this article to us. His thoughtful note brought back a precious memory. We reminisced about how things used to be.

I said, “Our grandchildren are missing out on the memories that we enjoyed when we were growing up and raising our children.”

Then our daughter, said, “The grandchildren will have their memories. They will be different memories, but precious to them.”

“Oh, but not like our memories. We had such fun.”

But would this next generation really want to step back and live our memories? I don’t think so. They wouldn’t know how to act. They would be totally bored with how it used to be. How could this next generation possibly know a Holiday without television, CD’s, I-Phones, videos, computers, and texting? They wouldn’t know what to do with themselves.

Our son-in-law said his family spent the whole week between Christmas and New Year’s Day visiting friends and family. They called it “Christmasing.” His family would go as a family and take a small gift like a plate of cookies or fruitcake to other families. That was Christmas to him.

Today, with texting, the kids know in seconds what is going on and making plans for a quick escape. Although, they kept saying we have to go but they still hung around longer than we ever thought they would. They wouldn’t go with their family to other families’ homes and visit for anything. Talk about BORING!

Our Christmas will be different this year. For the last twenty years, our twelve family members convened at our house for two weeks during the Christmas holiday in Pagosa.  No matter if we had four feet of snow or it was twenty below, no water, no electricity, our family came together as family.

Even when our California children broke down in Mohave, and had to buy another car in transient, they came.

Last year, when our son came from the Philippines and was mad about the ugly sweaters, he was still with the family. It was our Ugly Sweater Christmas, every one had to wear ugly sweaters the whole time. We had our family portrait taken in them. Everyone was in the picture except our son. He wouldn’t be a part. We had to photo shoot him in later and we dressed him in even an uglier sweater.

We have made a few memories for our grandchildren over the years. When our grandson heard that we weren’t having Christmas as usual, he said, “What’s with that? What do you mean Grandma and Granddad won’t be having Christmas here?  We always have Christmas at their house.”

I said to him, “We had to change the plans, everyone is doing something different this year. Our one grandson is in China with YWAM, our granddaughter is in Southern California and has a job, the other one has to work and you have to be in training over the holidays. It’s going to have to be different this year. We want it to be the same, but it won’t be.”

Over the years, things have changed. We had to make sure we had Wi Fi for the grandchildren and do other things. We still were family and were making traditions along the way. This year, we will all be in different places, but we are still family.

Final Brushstroke! I think it’s up to grandparents and parents to keep the tradition and memories going for their children. It takes a lot of work to keep them going and keep them together. Even though times have changed, families still want to be family and do family things. It just has to be on their terms now.