Da charts! Da charts! Da Charts!

I asked My Sweet Al for his take on this article. He said it’s different and confusing. I told him it’s a metaphor, and unless you’ve been to the island and walked among the nuts and fruit, you wouldn’t appreciate it. Here goes. Please indulge me with my guilty pleasure.

“Da charts! Da charts! Da Charts!” Tippy-Toes yelled as her charts flew away from the Greek speaking, Nobody-Wants-To-Be-Here Island.

At one time, many hopefuls wanted to be on the island. They longed for handpicked fruit and nuts from the tree of life. They savored the taste of the luscious flavor of fresh words and their meanings.

There are only three requirements needed in order to stay on the island, stick-to-it-ness, do the homework and be committed to the Greek language. But, one by one, the weary and the not-so-fascinated students of Greek 101 flew away in the same plane that brought them in. The plane is called, I-want-it-but-not-bad-enough.

Only three guests, captured by the Greek language, remain and refuse to leave the island. There is the Bouncer, who leads the group and totes a pistol. His two students are Tippy-Toes and Hurry-Up. They are in their third semester and have become the best of friends on the isolated Nobody-Wants-To-Be-Here-Island.

Co-existing on this island, the three have learned a lot about themselves and each other’s study habits. Tippy-Toes has cleared her schedule and given up her life for Greek. She spends hours upon hours of homework time. She makes charts for every verb and noun ending. She carries 3X5 flashcards and has filled three recipe boxes full of every Greek word she has learned. She’s serious and answers her phone with “Greek Central.”

Hurry-Up is trying to keep up with her full schedule and is determined to stay on the island. She has a life and can’t dedicate her whole life to Greek. The island has minefields and open meadows. Hurry-Up is running through the minefields with no harm no foul, while Tippy-Toes is tiptoeing through the tulips, smelling the flowers, sampling fruit and enjoying the island breeze.

The Bouncer announced to his class of two, that if a stranger comes on the island, they should use the seats on the turquoise chairs as shields. He believes that strangers could invade the island, but not to worry, he has a gun and a license to carry it.

Tippy-Toes went into a tailspin. She said to Hurry-Up, “Our backs are to the door.  We don’t have a chance. We’ll have to rely on the teacher to warn us. Can he be trusted?”

Hurry-Up assured her, “Surely he can. We’re his only students. If anything happens to us, there won’t be anyone on the island to teach.”

  

The leader announced to his class of two, “You’ve had two semesters of beginning Greek, now you’ve graduated into the fun stuff. Forget about the book, we’re going to translate controversial scriptures from the Bible. Start with one verse and we’ll add to it.”

Tippy-Toes came unglued. “We have two more lessons in the book. I haven’t learned about imperative moods and infinities yet. What about my charts? I can’t forget the book and my charts.”

Hurry-Up is overcome with glee. She’s doesn’t have charts and doesn’t care about Tippy-Toes’ charts. Hurry-Up and the Bouncer are holding hands and dancing to YMCA. They’re shouting, “This is what we’ve been waiting for all year. Let’s party.”

“No! No! No! I can’t go on until I finish the book.” Tippy-Toes hugs her book and refuses to move forward.

Hurry-Up throws her book and restraint into the air. It’s book-burning time. Hooray. She’s ready to go on. But, with only one other student on the island, she realizes she needs to console Tippy-Toes. “It’s okay. We’ll do the book on the side and do what the teacher says. After all he’s got the gun.”

Hurry-Up decides she needs to put more study into Greek. She loves the language and her vocabulary words consists of three 3X5 cards in a plastic Ziplock bag. She hasn’t progressed to the recipe box, yet, but she has made labels for her workbook and continues to order Greek books from Amazon. She studies but is stumped. She calls Tippy-Toes.

She meets Tippy-Toes smug response. “Laugh at my Charts. You need my Charts. You and the Bouncer can dance all you want, but we have to finish the book. I’ll never give up My Charts.”

Even with three people on the island, enjoying luscious fruit and nuts, beautiful emerald waters, and warm skies, they still have to learn how to study together and embrace each other’s crazy ways.

Tippy-Toes will always need her charts. Hurry-Up doesn’t want to take time to make charts. But she has learned not to make fun of  Tippy-Toes’ charts. And the Bouncer is waxing eloquently, sipping pina coladas and basking in the fact that his two Greek-speaking students are still on the island.

Final Brushstroke! Between you and me, there are a couple of nuts on this island. I won’t mention any names. We all process and see things differently. Without these two nuts, the island wouldn’t be as vibrant and colorful as it is and I also might have left the island in the plane called, I-want-it-but-not-bad-enough.