Signs of Getting Old

I was talking to an artist friend about her artwork when I looked down at the front of my shirt and said, “Look I just slobbered on myself. I can’t believe it.”

She said, “Betty, don’t worry about it, we’re all getting older. That’s what we have to look forward to.”

“Surely, we have more to look forward to than this.” I looked down at the spot on my shirt. “I feel fifty, I think I am fifty, and I want to believe I can still do anything I did at fifty. In fact, I think I’m better mentally than when I was fifty.”

My children remind me that I’m getting older. My son e-mails me and tells me that he wants Al and I to come and stay a month in the Philippines, but he has no idea what he’s going to do with us.

All of a sudden I am seeing the reversal of adults and children. We have become our children’s children. Do you remember when you said to your children, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you?” Or, “If you don’t behave I’ll leave you at home?”

Our children have had frank discussions in front of us about where My Sweet Al and I will end up. I don’t know if they decided by drawing straws or using a process of elimination, but they have decided where we would go in our old age. Out of a noble deed, they agreed to accept the responsibility for us.

It’s fortunate we have enough children that we would fit somewhere in the scheme of things. My Sweet Al is the favorite one between us. No question about it. Our youngest daughter said, “Of course, Daddy will come and live with me. I won’t let anything happen to him.”

Our daughter, Allison, said to me, “Mother, you will stay with us. But, don’t be difficult or it’s Shady Pines.” I knew what she meant, so I better behave.

I said, “No one asked me where I wanted to end up. I think I would be more comfortable with our daughter Cricket. You’re gone all the time and I’ll be home alone with your dog from six in the morning until ten at night. I’ll be playing with a ball to entertain myself just like Diezel does now.”

Did we ever ask our children what they wanted or where they would be more comfortable? I don’t think so. We just told them, they didn’t have a vote.

Did we have favorite kids when they were growing up? I guess we did. We loved them all but one was easier to raise than the others. Apparently, the children are looking at us in the same way. Their question is which one would be the easiest to deal with? I didn’t know we had to be dealt with.

Signs of getting old are creeping up around us. Our children used to buy cards with sweet sentiments and flowers. Now they are buying cards or sending e-mails with old people on the front with the disclaimer, “We thought of you. This reminds us of you.”

One I received was about the old woman looking in the mirror saying, “I’m old, ugly, and fat. I need a compliment, tell me a compliment.” The husband says to her, “You’re eyesight is close to damn near perfect.”

My Sweet Al and I are taking road trips with our children these days. We are in the car for six or seven hours at a time, driving to one college football game after another. Apparently we have been behaving ourselves. We haven’t been left at home yet.

There is always Senior Awards Day, 10% off your purchases. Now that’s something to look forward to, not all is lost.

Final Brushstroke! If we should have the joy of living a long life we will become the children of our children. We better behave ourselves, because our children are now calling the shots.